A Random Happening!
by MidnightSolaris
Summary: A short story about a random happening with crow demon, Sebastian Michaelis and cat demon, Samantha Serena. . . Crack!fic. AU.


**Here's a random Story For you kitty cats! Enjoy! Oh before I forget, sorry for not updating my other story, but school must come first. Now have a crack at this story!**

**_Just a random story with Sebastian and Samantha_**

It all started when our predictably heroic hero, Samantha Serena, woke up in a haunted thicket. It was the third time it had happened. Feeling abnormally stunned, Samantha Serena deflowered a potato, thinking it would make her feel better (but as usual, it did not). Absolutely thrilled, she realized that her beloved pocket watch was missing! Immediately she called her overtly elitist, rich friend, Sebastian Michaelis. Samantha Serena had known Sebastian Michaelis for (plus or minus) 2,000 years, the majority of which were curious ones. Sebastian Michaelis was unique. He was easygoing though sometimes a little... pestering. Samantha Serena called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Sebastian Michaelis picked up to a very sad Samantha Serena. Sebastian Michaelis calmly assured her that most South American hissing sloths grimace before mating, yet South American hissing sloths usually sassily panic *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Samantha Serena. Why was Sebastian Michaelis trying to distract Samantha Serena? Because he had snuck out from Samantha Serena's with the pocket watch only eight days prior. It was a saucy little pocket watch... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Samantha Serena got back to the subject at hand: her pocket watch. Sebastian Michaelis sighed. Relunctantly, Sebastian Michaelis invited her over, assuring her they'd find the pocket watch. Samantha Serena grabbed her refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Sebastian Michaelis realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the pocket watch and he had to do it randomly. He figured that if Samantha Serena took the wannabe go-fast Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Samantha Serena would get there. But if she took the Dodge Challenger? Then Sebastian Michaelis would be very screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Sebastian Michaelis was interrupted by ten abrasive Mexican Gray Wolfs that were lured by his pocket watch. Sebastian Michaelis shuddered; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling worried, he aimlessly reached for his potato and aimlessly slapped every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent-the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the magical cornfield, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Dodge Challenger rolling up. It was Samantha Serena.

-o0o-

As she pulled up, she felt a sense of urgency. She had had to make an unscheduled stop at Sears to pick up a 12-pack of wolverines, so she knew she was running late. With a hasty leap, Samantha Serena was out of the Dodge Challenger and went wildly jaunting toward Sebastian Michaelis's front door. Meanwhile inside, Sebastian Michaelis was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the pocket watch into a box of live hand grenades and then slid the box behind his giraffe. Sebastian Michaelis was concerned but at least the pocket watch was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Sebastian Michaelis sassily purred. With a heroic push, Samantha Serena opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some oafish coke fiend in a nappy, busted-out hatchback,' she lied. 'It's fine,' Sebastian Michaelis assured her. Samantha Serena took a seat conveniently far from where Sebastian Michaelis had hidden the pocket watch. Sebastian Michaelis sneezed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Samantha Serena was distracted. In a tragically predictable turn of events, Sebastian Michaelis noticed a insensitive look on Samantha Serena's face. Samantha Serena slowly opened her mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

Sebastian Michaelis felt a stabbing pain in his shin when Samantha Serena asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the pocket watch right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A selfish look started to form on Samantha Serena's face. She turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's gerbils from when she used to have pet long-haired sea monkeys. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Samantha Serena nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Sebastian Michaelis could react, Samantha Serena aggressively lunged toward the box and opened it. The pocket watch was plainly in view.

Samantha Serena stared at Sebastian Michaelis for what what must've been nine microseconds. Happy as a frickin' monkey, Sebastian Michaelis groped explosively in Samantha Serena's direction, clearly desperate. Samantha Serena grabbed the pocket watch and bolted for the door. It was locked. Sebastian Michaelis let out a exotic chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Samantha Serena,' he rebuked. Sebastian Michaelis always had been a little clueless, so Samantha Serena knew that reconciliation was not an option; she needed to escape before Sebastian Michaelis did something crazy, like... start chucking potatos at him or something. In a tragically predictable turn of events, she gripped her pocket watch tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Sebastian Michaelis looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Samantha Serena. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame eleven days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Samantha Serena. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Sebastian Michaelis walked over to the window and looked down. Samantha Serena was gone.

-o0o-

Just yonder, Samantha Serena was struggling to make her way through the haunted thicket behind Sebastian Michaelis's place. Samantha Serena had severely hurt her fingernail during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Mexican Gray Wolfs suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the pocket watch. One by one they latched on to Samantha Serena. Already weakened from her injury, Samantha Serena yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing she saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Mexican Gray Wolfs running off with her pocket watch.

About nine hours later, Samantha Serena awoke, her ear throbbing. It was dark and Samantha Serena did not know where she was. Deep in the lonely imaginery desert, Samantha Serena was very lost. A few unfulfilled decades later, she remembered that her pocket watch was taken by the Mexican Gray Wolfs. But at that point, she was just thankful for her life. That's when, to her horror, a huge Mexican Gray Wolf emerged from the magical cornfield. It was the alpha Mexican Gray Wolf. Samantha Serena opened her mouth to scream but was cut short when the Mexican Gray Wolf sunk its teeth into Samantha Serena's taint. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Samantha Serena's lungs, but not before she realized that she was a failure.

Less than three miles away, Sebastian Michaelis was entombed by anguish over the loss of the pocket watch. 'MY PRECIOUS!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened dull pencil. With a heroic thrust, he buried it deeply into his kidney. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about Samantha Serena... wishing he had found the courage to tell her that he loved her. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the pocket watch that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant Mexican Gray Wolfs, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end.

**Did you enjoy it? I hope you did! This took a quick period of time to do so be glad! 'Til next time kittens! Don't forget to R&R on this and the other stories!**


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